


Hiatus

by SugarsweetRomantic



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, Humour, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14855822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarsweetRomantic/pseuds/SugarsweetRomantic
Summary: These meetings always are a mess.A highly-sarcastic observation of the characters of Wentworth...all of them.





	Hiatus

“Thank you all for coming here so quickly,” Bridget announced as she arranged the final chairs into a makeshift circle, the shape taking up the entire library. Confused faces sat down quietly, until Kim asked: “Didn’t you quit, like, a while ago?” Smiling, Bridget responded: “Don’t worry; it’s okay. The writers love making me return to my previous place of employment without looking suspicious at all. We’ll all be fine.” A hand shot up into the air at her statement. “Yes, Boomer?”

“So you’re back. I get that,” the raven-haired girl stated. “But aren’t they supposed to be dead?” She pointed at the group of women sitting in the far corner, all wearing white T-shirts with the slogan  _ Dead Prison Wives’ Club  _ printed on the front. Bea grinned. She was doing pretty damn good for a dead woman, showing up in flashbacks every now and again. Jess and Jodie were less pleased with their current status, and the latter was picking at the bandage covering her eye.

“True,” Vera replied. “Bury your gays.” Someone cleared their voice immediately. All eyes shot up to the door, where Joan Ferguson was standing, covered in dirt and grime. She slammed the doors behind her and marched over to Will, jabbing a finger against his chest.

“Couldn’t you have used a little less earth to bury that damned casket? It took them over an hour to get me out!” Will rolled his eyes, as did Linda next to him.

“They wanted it to look realistic. The viewers have to wonder whether you’re dead or not during the hiatus, you know.” He offered her his handkerchief so she could wipe the filth off of her face, after which she handed Bea a hand-drawn picture.

“I believe this is yours.”

“What about us?” a male voice asked. Turning towards Fletch, Doreen, Erica and Maxine, Vera explained: “You’ve been written off, so we’ll never see you again. Maybe once the series ends you’ll show up in the finale, you know, in the final five minutes, to show your happy ending. Or not.” She shrugged, and added: “In fact, Franky, Bridget, shouldn’t you be sitting with them?”

“I haven’t been officially removed from the show yet,” Bridget replied. “Besides, we need a psychologist.” 

“We did fine without one when I was there!” Erica protested. “You’re just a replacement-me!”

“I survived for a hell of a lot more seasons than you did,” Bridget stated. “And you’re straight.”

“You’re just as replaceable to the writers as I was,” the other woman sighed.

“Hold on now! I’m in the damn trailer for season six!” Franky exclaimed.

“Oh please,” Joan retorted, “we’ll probably only see you running up and down the streets and parks of Melbourne for a while, and then we might see you a few episodes later, making out with Bridget. Or not.”

“So basically, we don’t know anything?” Allie asked, hands on her hips.

“Nope.” 

“And who are they?” Boomer asked, walking up to the final group of women sitting in the library. Their facial expressions were emotionless and they sat completely still; they might as well have been mannequins. 

“They’re the new ones,” Liz explained.

“Why aren’t they talking?”

“They can’t say much yet,” Sonia replied, “except for the things they have said in the promos. We don’t know much about them yet.”

“Sugar tits!” one of the new women called out, before taking on a catatonic expression again.

“See?”

“Well, this is a fucking mess,” Franky stated. Bridget smiled, and agreed: “The hiatuses always are.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this attempt at humour. ;)


End file.
